قهر

What it means

قهر (ghahr) means sulking, being on bad terms, or the state of having fallen out with someone over a grievance. It is borrowed from Arabic قَهْر (qahr), which in Arabic carries the stronger meanings of overpowering, conquest, and force. Persian has narrowed and domesticated the word significantly: in everyday Persian it describes the social and emotional act of withdrawing from someone after a dispute or hurt, often accompanied by silence and refusal to engage. The main compound verb is قهر کردن (ghahr kardan), which means to fall out with someone, to stop speaking to someone, or to give someone the silent treatment. A related phrase is قهر و آشتی (ghahr-o-âshti, falling out and making up), which describes the full cycle of a relationship dispute and its resolution. قهر is not a permanent or severe estrangement but typically a temporary emotional withdrawal that is expected to end in آشتی (âshti, reconciliation).

How to use it

• با برادرم قهرم (bâ barâdar-am ghahr-am) “I’m on bad terms with my brother.”
• چرا باهام قهر کردی؟ (cherâ bâhâm ghahr kardi?) “Why did you fall out with me?”
• بچه‌ها زود قهر می‌کنن (bache-hâ zud ghahr mikonan) “Kids fall out quickly.”
• دیگه قهر نباش (dige ghahr nabâsh) “Don’t be sulking anymore.”

Cultural note

قهر is a distinctly social and relational concept in Iranian life. Unlike a formal argument, قهر is a silent withdrawal: the person who is قهر stops calling, stops responding warmly, and makes their hurt known through absence rather than confrontation. Among close friends and family it is expected that قهر will eventually give way to آشتی, often through a third party who mediates or through someone breaking the silence with a small gesture. The cycle of قهر و آشتی is so familiar that it appears in proverbs, songs, and children’s games, treated as a natural part of caring relationships rather than a serious rupture.

References

• Dehkhoda
• Vajehyab