What it means
شرمنده (sharmande) is a pure Persian word formed from شرم (sharm, shame or modesty) and the suffix ـنده, which marks an ongoing state or quality. Its primary meaning is ashamed, embarrassed, or abashed. However, in spoken colloquial Persian شرمنده has developed a second, very frequent use: as a polite expression meaning sorry to bother you or thank you, offered when someone has done you a favor or when you are asking for one. This dual function makes it one of the most practically useful words in everyday conversation.
How to use it
- شرمنده، میتونی کمکم کنی؟ (sharmande, mituni komakam koni?) “Sorry to ask, but can you help me?”
- از کاری که کردم شرمندهام. (az kâri ke kardam sharmandeyam.) “I am ashamed of what I did.”
- شرمندهام که دیر رسیدم. (sharmandeyam ke dir residam.) “I am sorry that I arrived late.”
- شرمنده، زحمت کشیدی. (sharmande, zahmat keshidi.) “Thank you, you went to all that trouble.”
Cultural note
The polite use of شرمنده is a key part of ta’arof, the Persian system of elaborate courtesy. When someone brings you tea, fixes your computer, or holds a door, saying شرمنده acknowledges that you feel the weight of their kindness and that you are almost embarrassed to have caused them effort. This is not false modesty but a genuine social ritual that lubricates relationships. Learners who only know شرمنده as ashamed are often surprised the first time a native speaker uses it cheerfully to say thank you.