Stop listening to the “Persian Purists” on Instagram.
You know the ones. They tell you not to say Mersi (مرسی) because it’s “too French” or “lazy.” They want you to say Sepas (سپاس) like you are reciting poetry from the 10th century.
Ignore them.
If you walk around Tehran saying Sepas to every taxi driver, you sound like a historical drama character. But more importantly, you are throwing away the most tactical weapon in your vocabulary.
In the complex psychological warfare we call Tarof, Mersi is not just “Thank you.” It is your shield.
The “Fesenjoon” Trap
Here is the scenario.
You are at a dinner party. You are full. You have eaten enough Fesenjoon (فسنجون) to put a large bear into hibernation. The heavy walnut and pomegranate sauce is sitting in your stomach like concrete.
The host approaches you with a ladle.
If you say “Na” (نه – No): You are rude. You have insulted the chef. The room goes silent.
If you say “Sepas” (سپاس – Thank you): It sounds formal and open-ended. The host interprets this as, “I am politely declining, but I secretly want you to force me to eat it.”
Splat. The stew is now on your plate. You lose.
The Italian “Basta” vs. The Persian “Mersi”
Living here in Italy, life is simple. If an Italian doesn’t want coffee, they just say “Basta” (Enough) or “No.”
In Iran, we don’t have “Basta.” We have passive-aggressive politeness. We have to say “No” by saying “Thank you.”
The “Mersi” Stop Maneuver
This is how you use Mersi to shut down a Tarof loop instantly without being rude. It requires two parts: the word and the hand.
1. The Word You say Mersi (مرسی). But you say it short. Sharp. Not Mersiiiiii (sing-songy). Just Mersi.
2. The Hand (The Wall) You raise your hand, palm facing out, close to your chest. This gesture signals: “I acknowledge your kindness, but if you put more rice on my plate, I will call the police.”
The Interaction:
Host: Ye keshidahn digeh? (One more scoop?)
You: Hand up ✋ + Mersi, Mersi. (Short, repeated twice)
Translation: “I am grateful, but I am done. Back off.”
Why This Works
Language isn’t about dictionary definitions. It is about survival.
Sepas is for writing emails to your professor or giving a speech. Mersi is for navigating the chaotic reality of Iranian social life.
If you want to understand more about why we use so many French words, check out this Guide to French Loanwords in Persian. It proves you aren’t “ruining” the language; you are just speaking modern Farsi.
Reading this makes sense. But try doing it when an Iranian grandmother is staring you down with a plate of rice.
I’m a PolSci student in Italy. I analyze power dynamics for a living, even at the dinner table. If you want to learn the language real people actually speak, stop wasting time.
Book a trial lesson and let’s get you street-ready
References for the Nerds
- Beeman, William O. Language, Status, and Power in Iran. Indiana University Press. (The bible on how Tarof actually works).
- Perry, John R. “Lexical Areas and Semantic Fields of Arabic Loanwords in Persian and Tajiki.” Journal of Near Eastern Studies. (For understanding why we swap words like Mersi/Sepas/Mamnoon).
